These days I often find myself imagining being with this guy at the right time or whatever I think what the right time was whether it was like a pink bougainvillea flower that blossoms every summer or my favorite ube that gets harvested every end of the rainy season.
Just thinking of him made me wonder about what people might say about us if this works out, but knowing myself I don't feel like diving into something that might affect my whole life, but I know I want and need him to be with me. This quarantine took a long toll on me, doing things I know I shouldn't then thereafter regretting all of it yet I still repeat the cycle, and when he came I knew I needed to stop it was as if an angel came to nudge me on the head.
With those crystal-like eyes, I couldn't resist but to stare at, those beautiful eyes that form so sweetly, and I couldn't hold myself back for I know an angel came to save me from falling for all of these tempting miseries.
I wanted to gamble so bad even if I knew this was something I shouldn't settle for, that I know my heart shouldn't fixate on just this but my desire was greater than my thoughts.
I wonder at night as I lay in bed thinking of what would you like? I feel like a child. I roam my eyes on my ceiling while I embrace my pillow, closing my eyes to remember how you looked like today and my mind comes astray every time it reminds me of you.
It makes me anxious thinking that what I'm waiting for might not even be worth the wait, that somehow the harvested purple yam might have been too dry or the pink bougainvillea flower might turn out too pale. It's worrisome and I don't want to wait until the 15th of March just to let you know how I feel but I'm afraid that on the next 15th of the month you might fly out to another place leaving my feelings all behind.
