How could love be so wicked for us, Dear Eddie?

Have u deeply fallin' in love with me that you've forgotten to close your eyes and listen to your mind?

I never told you but I always noticed how your eyes glistened even at night each time you look at me, it felt like a bomb inside of you that you couldn't contain anymore like poop that you couldn't stop but kept wanting to let go of, and like the stink of fart that couldn't be contained anymore but everyone around just knows it's coming from you.

I saw you every time and waited for you to try.

But your love wasn't always in vain, although I might not say it I'm always so thankful

I hope you know u made my day whenever I feel sad, insecure, and frustrated I just look at you and see how your face lightens like how a child loves his new toy.

It's never true that I was unlovable and every day you proved to me how beautiful I am.

How could you love me so deeply without being able to get to know me first?
How could you love me so faithfully when I never told you what I saw?

These questions I always want to ask you each time you're around.

And how crazy that love could be so strong that even when no one has ever told me anything I could feel it even from a mile away, when I'm in my mind I could feel your gaze from high above the clouds. I could feel it in my mind, it kept signaling to me each time you look that even my cold bones could feel the warm desires of your heart.

I hate myself for how wicked love could be for us, or how wicked I could be that I was in love with your best friend, I loved him so dearly that I could give my whole world to him and give up anything that I could have just to be with him. But he couldn’t do it because just like you, he was a sleek coward, he was too afraid to be with only one woman in his life and muster all of his strengths and charms to allure more women to be with him like a monster wanting to feast more preys so he simply wouldn’t ever be alone with one woman on his side in his luring cave.

You always have your ways of finding out who I love next but right now I could tell you that myself. I'm once again in love with the guy from your neighborhood and this time he is different from what anyone will expect.

He's gorgeous, modest, and sweet. I couldn't mutter the proper words to describe how perfect he seems. How wicked of me to even write this letter to you and crush your soul once again.

I wish I could say I’m sorry for never feeling the same way as you do but only guilt is what fills the heaviness of my heart and then again I ask myself "Had he even tried?"

At dusk of dawn, I think of you, of how maybe if you tried I might give you a chance but you never did maybe even after you leave this city for good I won't ever think you'll even try and that's all on you.