Today I write to my first love, I’m not quite sure if you’ll be able to read this but I will still write about you because I wanted to remember this, to remember us through letters that I’m writing and I wanted to remember that someone like you existed in my life.
Do you still remember that one rainy Saturday that started it all, when we met most unexpectedly?
who would have thought that something special will happen on that day when we were walking and got soaked in the rain. I vividly live in those memories, memories that I will hold close in my heart.
I love how you listened to my hour-long talks but still, you’re able to remember every word I said that even when I can barely remember it. When we’re together it feels like we have our very own world as if it only revolves around us. Guilt surrounded me like black clouds around my head when I realized that when I left you probably suffered more than I do, for you remembered every single detail of our moments together in your very own street.
I want us to walk the streets at dawn again, to feel the solemness and peace of the streets that still holds a place in my heart. When days arent as good as other days I walk the streets and imagine I’m next to you talking to you about how bad my day went and listen to you while you laugh at my jokes.
After 4 years I still remember those days, those happy times we had together I still miss you I miss my best friend my keen listener I don’t know but there really is something about you when you listen to me it feels like I’m understood and it felt like you were always ready to listen to me any time of the day.
I also thought we would last longer than a year but we didn’t because the world says no to real love. Even if we fell apart I was still happy that you were once mine that at 16 I met the love of my life, that you were mine forever even when you get older or if you’re with someone else or even if I ceased to exist I know that the innocent boy I shared my youth with will forever be mine and no one can take that away from me.
Its been years since the last time we talked and I still look for you traces in the puddle from the little things we did, from books we have read and signed together even letter i secretly wrote for you or the places we used to walk in where we laugh just so I can still extend those memories with you for I want it to rain again and again to see you laugh with me or hold my hands I want it to rain again.
Whenever it rains I think of you and only you. The rain has already embedded its memory with you, the rain and you are now both co-existing in my own universe.
We are fairly lucky to have met each other in the midst of chaos we both had very odd similarities that we didn’t expect that we would share. I will forever cherish those times that I was with you but just like how the rain stops each night, this is where I end it, today I end our existence and I hope you see this as the rainbow that comes after the rain. I love you.
